Putting this year into Perspective- from my teaching experiences in China..to today's teaching in America!! :)

Hey everyone! :) I am leaving for work in a few minutes. It's is 6:52 am on Monday, August 23rd, and this is a day that I have been anticipating this year. I feel like this year is completely different from the past 3 years I've taught. Yes, I'm in Houston still, I'm teaching the same subject- Elementary Art, and I think I'm a pretty great Art Teacher (although, many times- my discipline isn't very good- and that translates into "classroom management"). Anyways, I feel that my perspective on teaching and a lot of the way I view the world and children, and people in general, has changed dramatically based on my past Summer! I got the amazing privilege of teaching English to 120 high school freshman for two weeks in Pinghu, China, an hour from Shanghai. Yes, although this job could just sound kind of glamorous or exciting, it was more than that.

It taught me to really lean into God for my teaching, and every area of my life. I had to let go of all the stresses that were surrounding me back home, and any stress or anxiety over teaching English to kids who had only taken English for 3 years, and who I thought were going to look at me like I was a "stupid American". Anyways, I think that I impressed these kids with my love and caring towards their learning. I don't think they've experienced a teacher who has smiled at them a lot, made them laugh, and helped them ENJOY learning English. A lot of the kids told me that they didn't like speaking English before, but because of me, they started to ENJOY speaking and practicing their English. They told me that it could be FUN to learn, and that I helped teach them that. I will have to type up some more of their letters, when I get a chance. But, reading each and every single one of their letters really encouraged me, and has helped me have the correct perspective this year. I know that my "classroom management" and discipline is important, but I also think that if I can truly show all my students that I care for them and their learning, and that I want them to ENJOY art first and foremost, then they will probably want to behave in my class.

It's definitely different than China, where I had amazingly disciplined and motivated kids who have had it engrained into their heads that they MUST be successful, because that is what their country stands for. BUT, regardless- I learned in China, that I am actually a WONDERFUL teacher. And, I need to let go of any slight imperfections I have and realize that what matters is my excitement over my subject, and my knowledge of it..and if I can truly share that insight and EXCITE then I can change my kids here in America for the better. Kids in America need to see a teacher who is passionate about something. They need to find some of that passion for themselves. So, that is my goal. I want them to be able to express themselves, and to find a love for art just simply because it allows them to do that. I want them to learn about cultures around the World who express themselves through Art. I want them to know how important Art is for this. Art is a means of expression, when often times you cannot find the words to express yourself- painting or using clay or any other medium is a means of expression when words are not enough. :)

Well, gotta get going! But, I hope every single teacher has a great year! :) Everyone who is not a teacher, please pray for us all as we start out our school year. I know you might not think our jobs are hard, but trust me- they are. Harder than you can imagine. Emotionally exhausting. But, even if you do not understand it, please pray for us- for us to reach the kids. Because it's about the kids, not the teachers. :) Thanks! :)

God likes his yokes easy!!! :) OFF TO CHINA!!!

"God likes his yokes easy."~quote on a sign at a church

When I saw this quote on that sign today, it really stuck out to me, because it is based off my favorite verse!!!

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls."

During all the traumatic life events that happened over the last couple of years, losing my dad, breakups, getting anxiety/mild depression from both these things, I have learned that God will always give you as much as you can handle. He will make you strong and teach you, and use you to glorify Him, even in those hard and somewhat dark times. I have come out on the other side of all those dark times, and I am full of life and joy- and reaching a place where I can fully serve HIM!! And, what's really great- is He is using my passions- like art, travel, missions, teaching- to do it!! He wants us to be HAPPY while we serve HIM. And, I think this is absolutely amazing..much more than great! ;)

Anyways, please look to my other official China blog to see what I'm up to in China. There will be no commenting on that one, so just go and read it and enjoy it. If you want to comment, you can e-mail me personally. I'm not giving out the e-mail though..so, hopefully if you're close to me, you have it!! :)

Here's the China blog:
http://www.liliflowerinchina.blogspot.com
Hopefully I can post a lot!! We'll see how much time I'll have for posting, etc.
Thanks for your interest in my trip!!

Peace~
Audrey "Lili"

Feelings of nervousness..

Above pic: Scorpions on a stick..definitely nervous about eating those..haha..JK..I definitely WILL NOT be eating those! ;) They also have Starfish on a stick, and pretty much anything else you can think of on a stick. Pretty creative..but not appetizing to me. Might be appetizing to someone though. ;)


Okay, so I never ever EVER get nervous about trips overseas. I don't even think about flying in an airplane over the sea. It doesn't affect me. I'm not sure why. So, that is definitely NOT what I'm nervous about. I'm nervous about a few other things. So, to make it easier, I'm just simply going to list them..haha:

1) Nervous about TEACHING! I had such a hard year this past year with my students here in good ol' Texas. My kids were SO hyper and not focused, and it was so hard to control them and get them to pay attention to me, and respect me. Getting through an entire lesson was like pulling teeth most of the time. There would be only two, three, or maybe four kids who were distracting to the entire class, but, unfortunately, those few kids would seem to ruin it for the rest of the class. I don't think the Chinese kids will be this way, plus I'm teaching a much older group of kids 14-15 yr. olds, but just b/c of the past year, I am nervous.

2) Nervous about the CULTURE shock. I've never really "lived" in a place for a month, outside of Saudi Arabia, where I really truly did live for three years. I'm not sure if a month can qualify as "living" somewhere. But, maybe it could?? I'm not sure, really. Anyways, not being able to speak then language, etc. will definitely be challenging for an entire month. Oh, and hopefully I'll like all the food and not be starving, haha..I guess I'll learn to like it, even if I initially don't. :)

3) Nervous about not being able to easily contact my FAMILY/FRIENDS. I'm going to miss them, that's all. :)

4) Nervous about hanging out w/ middle-aged ladies who are all retired teachers for an entire month. I hope I don't feel left out being the youngest one, by about half their ages, or more. I hope they all accept me, and that I am able to make some friends who can also be mentors in my faith/spirituality..because they are all also very strong Christian women.

...anyways, that's about it!! Please pray for me w/ all these things that make me nervous!! :) I appreciate it!

We Shall All Be Reunited-Patty Griffin

Love this song..go listen/watch it on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgVGH70-ocQ
It's amazing, and Patty Griffin does such a wonderful job:


Where is now my father's family
That was here so long ago?
Sitting 'round the kitchen fireside
Brightened by the ruddy glow

We shall all be reunited
In that land beyond the skies
Where there'll be no separation
No more marching, no more sighs

Some have gone to lands far distant
And with others made their home
Some upon the world of waters
All their lives have chose to roam

We shall all be reunited
In that land beyond the skies
Where there'll be no separation
No more marching, no more sighs

Some have gone from us forever
For with us they could not stay
They have all dispersed and wandered
Gone away, so far away

We shall all be reunited
In that land beyond the skies
Where there'll be no separation
No more marching, no more sighs

We shall meet beyond the river
In that land of pure delight
Where no sickness or no sorrow
Will our joys there ever blight

We shall all be reunited
In that land beyond the skies
Where there'll be no separation
No more marching, no more sighs
No more marching, no more sighs

China verses :) ..Desire, Fear, Work not in Vain, etc..

Psalms 38:9 "Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee."

Philippians 1:3-6 "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Phil. 2:6 "Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ's return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless."

Isaiah 35:4 "Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.'"

Psalm 21:2 "Thou hast given him his heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah."

China (and traveling in general): The journey is the destination.

(L: two pics I took in summer 2007 in Paris, France, obviously..)

I am so incredibly happy and blessed beyond what I ever imagined. God has proven to me over and over again how much He desires for me to go on this trip. He wants me to go just as much as I want to go, and it's evident in the way He is providing for me in every way, shape and form. I silently spoke to Him in my heart the desires to live and work overseas, and He heard those desires spoken beyond a faint whisper in my heart. He heard them in enormous volumes that were probably resounding like a gong! "Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee." Psalm 38:9*

I have desired to live abroad for several years- at least the last 5 years, maybe more. For some reason, this is just embedded in my soul. I have a sense of what some people may call "wander lust", but, I honestly don't like that term, because "lust" is never a good thing. I mean, isn't lust an unquenchable thirst for physical pleasures? It seems like a very earthly/worldly thing. To me, traveling is not to become more "worldly" or cultured, although being cultured isn't a bad thing either.

I see travel as something entirely different- to me it's actually a very spiritual experience. When else are you going to feel super vulnerable in every avenue of life- where you're going to sleep? What you're going to eat? What languages will be spoken? Whether you're going to get sick off their food or not? If you'll catch your trains and airplanes on time? If you'll arrive safely at your destination? If your destination will be safe? If people will be friendly and welcoming? ...I mean, the list could go on and on and on..I just think it's great to be able to fully rely on and seek God during every moment in your travels, and see what it is He's trying to teach you, and to see how faithful He is, in meeting every need- physical, emotional, and spiritual. You grow so much in these times.

I always remember the trip with Amy to Europe- when her passport accidentally fell out of her pocket in the train station. We were on a train that was going to take us from England to France, in a tunnel that went under the English Channel. In a few short hours you would leave London and miraculously end up in Paris- without taking a plane or getting on a boat. I thought this was the coolest thing.. until..while waiting on the train for it to depart, we were sitting in our comfy seats,

and Amy speaks up...
"Oh my God! (or something to that effect!) I lost my PASSPORT!!!!!"

OMG OMG OMG!!!! AHHH What??? Is what I was thinking?? I was immediately imagining all the scenarios that could occur..

she hopped off the train, and said- "I'll be RIGHT back!"

The doors were closed, and she exited the train in a FURY and ran down this super long train to the waiting area. Luckily, when she got to the middle of it, one of the train workers (not sure what you called them) met her HALFWAY and handed her her passport!!!! Oh my GOSH! I was SO thankful when I saw her appear back on the train and plop herself down next to me.

I had already determined that I was on my way to Paris all alone, and that it would be okay- I would just check into a hostel, and umm..call one of her parents and tell them where I was in hopes that she would talk to them and figure out where I was...yeah, that would work?? Haha..So, anyways, these are the exact types of situations where you really are relying on God to get you safely (and legally, with all passports secure) to your destinations. :) God didn't want me to be roaming Paris by myself!! ;) He took care of me! Although, I think I'm starting to get more secure in my traveling nowadays, and could totally handle Paris alone NOW..but three years ago, that would've totally freaked me out!

Well, going to bed. This entry wasn't really about China or what I'm doing there. But, that's how my entries are..they take their own direction as I write them. Free flow, kind of. If you enjoy it, you do, if you don't- that's fine too. :) To each his/her own. I'm not trying to appeal to the audience..haha..this is definitely more for me. Here I am, being selfish in my writing. ;) But this is a freaking online journal, people! You are just merely allowed a slight glimpse into the way my brain operates with all these thoughts constantly circling around.

Later~
*Looked up Psalm 38:9 and found a really great blog all about Desire..and how we need to check our Desires and make sure they are glorifying to God. I don't think traveling the world is always glorifying, it always depends on the purpose and what inspired you to go where you're going. But, I do feel God has put these desires in my heart for a reason, and I will elaborate on this more. It could very well be for missions, but I'm not exactly sure at this point. I'm still working that out in my head..next entry will be on Desire! :) Here's the wonderful blog I found that had some good points: http://www.about-him.com/page38.html the entry is divided into parts "Your Heart's Desire", "What Was the Desire of Jesus", "Gain is Not Necessarily Godliness"..and "A Contrast"..then, finally, what was the author's desire.

China: How it all began Pt. 2

So, I've realized after reading through my last post that I like to digress a lot! "So I digress..." Should be put anywhere that I decide I'm going to randomly go off on a tangent. I guess that just goes to show I have a million thoughts flying through my mind all at once. I guess that's how it is with most things in my life- and when I stop to think back on a memory, so life-changing as this choice to go on a long term missions trip to China, a lot of feelings and thoughts come back to me all at once. I basically told you how it all happened through this lovely woman, Catherine, and how she actually approached me, and asked me about whether I'd be interested in this trip to China with a bunch of teachers for a month during the summer. And then I proceeded to tell you how within two weeks of knowing about the trip, I had already bought and paid for my expensive plane ticket to China. I hadn't met the people I'd be going with, and I honestly didn't know a single thing about it, besides the fact that we were going to teach English, and somehow do the m-word also (just so you know, the "m word" is missions, but from here on out I might be calling it that- or maybe call ourselves "ambassadors for the L*rd", etc.)

Anyways, I believe that this was a HUGE leap of faith for me. I mean, I have randomly said yes to plenty of trips, but each of them has only been a week or two long. This is TWICE as long, and I actually have to work while I'm there, it's not just for vacation or for fun. So, it's a pretty big commitment. These ladies that go on this trip are mostly retired teachers, and they all spend the entire year planning for and anticipating this trip. I have only spent the past 4 months really thinking about it, and now- in the two weeks before I actually leave to go to China, I can actually start planning. I didn't have time before this to really plan. As in, lesson plan. Yes, there will be lesson planning involved. We will be actual, real teachers there, and we are expected to provide a service to these children of China, to help them learn and grow so that someday they can move to the United States and be successful in whatever industry they choose to be in. Just the fact that as an American we know "American English" is a HUGE commodity, and they want this SO badly. English with any other accent is fine, as well..they just want to know ENGLISH! We often take the things we have for granted, such as education, food, clean water, money, etc. But, one of the things most Americans definitely take for granted, is having the knowledge and ability to speak a worldwide spoken language, one of the most powerful languages, English!

Now, I just need to learn how exactly you teach such a language to these already brilliant people over in China. I guess I will be researching and figuring this out. We have had training for three days back in April, but that was 2 months ago, and I already feel like some of that has slipped away from me. I have to review and refresh what I learned. I will be doing some of that on here, possibly..but that might bore you, haha..

So, instead, I'll probably tell you how I'm preparing for this spiritually, and what I hope to gain from this experience. I haven't decided if I'll blog while I'm there, but if I do, I'll have to make another blog for that time, because this one has too many spiritual things on it, and I don't want to get in trouble while there.

Well, I will write more later! Basically, I have told you how it all began...now I'm going to get into the prep mode! ;) Later~