(L: two pics I took in summer 2007 in Paris, France, obviously..)
I am so incredibly happy and blessed beyond what I ever imagined. God has proven to me over and over again how much He desires for me to go on this trip. He wants me to go just as much as I want to go, and it's evident in the way He is providing for me in every way, shape and form. I silently spoke to Him in my heart the desires to live and work overseas, and He heard those desires spoken beyond a faint whisper in my heart. He heard them in enormous volumes that were probably resounding like a gong! "Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee." Psalm 38:9*
I have desired to live abroad for several years- at least the last 5 years, maybe more. For some reason, this is just embedded in my soul. I have a sense of what some people may call "wander lust", but, I honestly don't like that term, because "lust" is never a good thing. I mean, isn't lust an unquenchable thirst for physical pleasures? It seems like a very earthly/worldly thing. To me, traveling is not to become more "worldly" or cultured, although being cultured isn't a bad thing either.
I see travel as something entirely different- to me it's actually a very spiritual experience. When else are you going to feel super vulnerable in every avenue of life- where you're going to sleep? What you're going to eat? What languages will be spoken? Whether you're going to get sick off their food or not? If you'll catch your trains and airplanes on time? If you'll arrive safely at your destination? If your destination will be safe? If people will be friendly and welcoming? ...I mean, the list could go on and on and on..I just think it's great to be able to fully rely on and seek God during every moment in your travels, and see what it is He's trying to teach you, and to see how faithful He is, in meeting every need- physical, emotional, and spiritual. You grow so much in these times.
I always remember the trip with Amy to Europe- when her passport accidentally fell out of her pocket in the train station. We were on a train that was going to take us from England to France, in a tunnel that went under the English Channel. In a few short hours you would leave London and miraculously end up in Paris- without taking a plane or getting on a boat. I thought this was the coolest thing.. until..while waiting on the train for it to depart, we were sitting in our comfy seats,
and Amy speaks up...
"Oh my God! (or something to that effect!) I lost my PASSPORT!!!!!"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! AHHH What??? Is what I was thinking?? I was immediately imagining all the scenarios that could occur..
she hopped off the train, and said- "I'll be RIGHT back!"
The doors were closed, and she exited the train in a FURY and ran down this super long train to the waiting area. Luckily, when she got to the middle of it, one of the train workers (not sure what you called them) met her HALFWAY and handed her her passport!!!! Oh my GOSH! I was SO thankful when I saw her appear back on the train and plop herself down next to me.
I had already determined that I was on my way to Paris all alone, and that it would be okay- I would just check into a hostel, and umm..call one of her parents and tell them where I was in hopes that she would talk to them and figure out where I was...yeah, that would work?? Haha..So, anyways, these are the exact types of situations where you really are relying on God to get you safely (and legally, with all passports secure) to your destinations. :) God didn't want me to be roaming Paris by myself!! ;) He took care of me! Although, I think I'm starting to get more secure in my traveling nowadays, and could totally handle Paris alone NOW..but three years ago, that would've totally freaked me out!
Well, going to bed. This entry wasn't really about China or what I'm doing there. But, that's how my entries are..they take their own direction as I write them. Free flow, kind of. If you enjoy it, you do, if you don't- that's fine too. :) To each his/her own. I'm not trying to appeal to the audience..haha..this is definitely more for me. Here I am, being selfish in my writing. ;) But this is a freaking online journal, people! You are just merely allowed a slight glimpse into the way my brain operates with all these thoughts constantly circling around.
Later~
*Looked up Psalm 38:9 and found a really great blog all about Desire..and how we need to check our Desires and make sure they are glorifying to God. I don't think traveling the world is always glorifying, it always depends on the purpose and what inspired you to go where you're going. But, I do feel God has put these desires in my heart for a reason, and I will elaborate on this more. It could very well be for missions, but I'm not exactly sure at this point. I'm still working that out in my head..next entry will be on Desire! :) Here's the wonderful blog I found that had some good points: http://www.about-him.com/page38.html the entry is divided into parts "Your Heart's Desire", "What Was the Desire of Jesus", "Gain is Not Necessarily Godliness"..and "A Contrast"..then, finally, what was the author's desire.
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