Facebook or Women's Brag Book?

This is going to be a controversial post perhaps. I'm not meaning to stir up any drama. I have just started realizing some societal "norms" that should NOT be normal. One of them is exactly this: Facebook is becoming a Brag Book. It is a way you can prove yourself to your family, friends, etc. All of it is in the top part of your Facebook Account-- your profile picture which should be posed just perfectly, your name which should have changed by now if you're a female (according to society's standards), your job which should have changed by status by either being more prestigious/accomplished or your job could become "SAHM."

Here's the thing, I'm not trying to be rude. I know that I have been GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY of all these things. I change my profile picture once a week probably. I wonder if I do that though so that I can prove myself to others--so that I can prove that my life is fun and satisfying? I feel like because of the tremendously big thing that Facebook has turned into, it hasn't been just pretty photos of girls at college parties anymore, it's a STATUS SYMBOL. We are supposed to look like we have the perfect life. Well, you know what? We don't. Behind your name and your perfectly posed profile picture, every single person is flawed. We all have imperfections. Maybe we try to make our Facebook appear perfect so that we can feel better about ourselves or the choices we've made? I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it is hurting a lot of WOMEN in particular.

We have been raised in a relatively modern society where we are expected to have a pretty significant career, but along with that, we are expected to get married AND have babies, all before the age of 30. Well, what happens when certain people don't accomplish all these things by or before 30? We are questioned over and over again by perfectly kind people who mean absolutely NO harm. But, here's the thing, ignorance is bliss, but I no longer want women to be ignorant to what they're doing to other women. How are we ever supposed to be seen as equal to men if we are so caught up in our petty comparisons and trying to measure our worth by a silly Facebook picture or our statuses? 

Society historically has treated women as if they all want to be a Stay at Home Mother someday. Well, not all of us want that. I, personally, DO want that. I am one of the few who want to give up her career completely and be a full time MOM. You know that only about 10% of mother's do that now? I am okay with being in the minority, it's something I've long dreamed about--since I was a child, and then all my passions and interests in college lined up with that. I love to teach art to children. How much better will it be when it's my own child?

Anyways, we need to treat each other better, women. I'm speaking directly to YOU because you know that it's true. I was friends with guys primarily until getting married to Andrew. I decided once I got married to ditch my guy friends and only be friends with girls (or Andrew's guy friends who we hang out in groups). In this new lifestyle change from being a "guy's girl" to a "married girlie girl" I have noticed a significant change in EVERYTHING-- from the way I am treated by other girls, to the way I try to make friends (people Andrew would be friends with possibly?), and I am noticing how terribly women treat each other. I was friends with probably hundreds of guys before settling down (only dated a few of them) and I can tell you from experience that I was never treated so judgmentally. No guy ever said "your eggs are drying out", okay, except ONE time, and he said it completely sarcastically, as if implying that all of our female friends were so concerned with that all the time (if you read this, Ryan, you will feel bad).

This is the end of my rant. And, yes, I will be a "SAHM" someday but I really pray that I will be completely humble about it all and not boast in my blessings. I know that I've probably done that with everything else--my traveling for sure! Maybe in my marriage, but not as much as my traveling (I was obsessssssed). I really hope that someday when I announce my pregnancy that I will not stir up any hard feelings, I will be as sensitive to others as I can be. There is no reason to boast in the miracle of childbirth for that is something entirely of God. We have no part in that really.

The end!

Marriage Thus Far.. (Almost Not Newlyweds!)

Hello everyone! I felt it was time to do a personal blog finally! I haven't really written one about being married to the one and only Mr. Andrew Duncan--he's my high school sweetheart and the love of my life, although both those things are super cliche to say, they are true!!! Marriage is definitely one of the best things (if not THE best thing) I have ever experienced. I'm not saying my life is more complete being a married woman, but it's definitely added a level of depth and connection that I didn't have being single.

Here are some pics from the past year:

Looking back on my real, true years of being "single"-- six years in Houston, I really truly did live out my single years in the fullest of ways. I worked at a Montessori preschool starting off, then did five years in public schools teaching art to PK-12th grade! Through my awesome teaching schedule with summers off, I spent every cent of my hard-earned salary on traveling the world. I traveled in every single way possible--selfishly with my girl and guy friends (the best trips being to Madrid, Paris and Barcelona with Jmay & Matty D and to NYC with Matty D, Clare, Nicole and Kelly) and then Unselfishly (although, everyone has to admit there are unfortunately selfish desires deep down) through Missions to Belize, China, Mexico and Honduras. Both my career and my traveling were very fulfilling. Well, at least they should've been.... I was going through immense grief during all of that time, and honestly, the places I went were amazing and all, but I'd get there and say to myself: "where you go, there you are." That basically means, the grief travels with you! I don't want to get into grief though, because I spent a large part of my last post talking about that (so click backwards if that's what you want to read about). Being single, all in all, was the truest learning and growing experience. Everyone needs to be single to find out who they really are.

Andrew is a very strong and compassionate person! He is truly the best person for me, in that he understands and knows me VERY well (after 14 years of dating/marriage he should know me well). He knows when I am starting to feel tiny bouts of grief over my dad, or just grumpy or moody, or on the more positive side--when I'm just full of life and happy, or feeling super adventurous and wanting to travel everywhere! He knows when I'm needing more depth in my spiritual life seeking Christ!!! Thankfully, we are similar in many of these feelings. Two weekends ago we both admitted we felt our spiritual life seeking a deeper relationship with God was really lacking. We have had the unfortunate events of not one, but two pastors (actually three, if you include the music pastor) stepping down from leadership at a small church plant we both love here in Austin--all within the past two years while I've been trying to move and plant roots here in town.

Well, to progress on-- we've discovered a new church that meets at the same location as the other church on Sunday mornings instead of at night. It seems like a really thriving and vibrant church that doesn't seem to be going anywhere except growing and getting bigger--maybe even outgrowing the building they are currently occupying! I guess after coming from a church group in Houston that just recently ended, I don't want to be newly part of a church that could possibly stop meeting, and instead want to enter into a vibrant community! So, for now, we are visiting and taking our time one Sunday at a time. We will check it out for the second time tomorrow. I'm glad we have been able to visit two Sundays before Easter and during Lent because I feel like this season in a church is a very beautiful and transformative time. I didn't personally give up anything for the Lenten season because usually I give up Facebook and this year we are eagerly anticipating the arrival of our new niece, Charlotte Grace and Casey (her mom!) updates constantly on her pregnancy--and I don't want to miss a single thing!!! Anyways, I will probably be giving up social media in May so that I can continue to see Charlotte updates right after she's born!

Anyways, these are some of the new things going on in our life and about our marriage. We have a wonderful married life, and as we get closer to our two year anniversary I am feeling tremendously blessed to have such a wonderful husband! I will try to write a bit more in the coming months!